Dinner with Linda & Tom

Linda & Tom

Okay, Linda's eyes are closed in this photo but it was just too cute with her wearing Tom's hat. Just had to add it to my blog. We had gone out to eat one night. Linda and Gene sang together in high school and right after -- weddings and such. They had just been back in touch for a few months. We really enjoyed having another couple to socialize with -- and I'm glad that Linda & Tom are still there for me! Very nice people!

For KJ & Maybeso's Internet Friends

May 4, 1956 - September 26, 2005

Accomplished Musician, Singer Songwriter, Journalist, Attorney, Artist, Computer Geek, Air Force Vet, Marksman, "Childlike not Childish!", Mechanic, Brilliant Guy, Excellent Cook, Funny, Witty, Loving Husband, Loyal Friend.

KJ came to his Zenophobia site and commented wondering if he was still there. Alas, he is not. And I miss him.

On the morning of September 26, 2005, Maybeso (Nathan, "Gene") had a massive heart attack and died. It was so unexpected. We still didn't have power after Hurricane Rita and he'd had a miserable night with no power, no fans, no air conditioning. It was so hot, too. Record temperatures. Maybe that had something to do with it or maybe not.

In retrospect, his chronic indigestion -- "Acid reflux," he'd say; and the shoulder pain -- "I pulled a muscle" or "I slept on it wrong;" those were signs he explained away. He was 49. Take note -- even though he was slim, he maintained a poor diet revolving around Dr Pepper, Nestle's Quick and meat. And even though he'd quit cigarettes a few years ago, he still smoked cigars. Did this have something to do with his demise or was it just his time? Just something to ponder next time you reach for a smoke or pass on the vegetables.

To those of you who knew him through his website and discussion boards, I must let you know that he thoroughly enjoyed the discourse. I'm not much of a debater and since he was such a homebody, his on-line community was a very, very important part of his life.

His wish was to be cremated and instead of a funeral, for his friends and family to have a party which we did. We listened to songs he liked and watched video of a band he'd had a few years ago. We ate the food he liked -- Grandma Wineaux was there having evacuated from Hurricane Katrina's hit on New Orleans and even made her famous jambalaya. We stood up and told funny stories about him. We laughed. We cried. We toasted him with Dr Pepper and cigars.

I think if he were to give you some parting advice, some of it would be --
To seek the Truth; to fight hard for your basic rights and for those who cannot; if you get arrested -- DO NOT TALK under any circumstance except to say "I want my attorney"; to encourage someone to go to college -- get them the course catalog and take the time to explain what it all means or offer to pay for their books. And I think he would also implore you to be kind. By example, he promoted being loyal and faithful to one's spouse. And he would encourage you to learn to play an instrument -- his passion was music. And to laugh -- and laugh often.

In addition to KJ, I like to think some of his other cyberpals came by, too. I had wanted to post this on his website but have not gotten access to his blog to do so. So if you find your way here, please know that he enjoyed your community and even I miss hearing about some of those lively discussions, too.

With kind regards,
Maybenot, the wife

Thanksgiving Is Tomorrow

People keep telling me that the holidays will be hard. I believe them!

I will be spending the first part of the day with my family and then in the afternoon, I'll go to spend some time with Gene's family.

I have received many invitations to Thanksgivings. Thanks everyone! I appreciate your kindness.

Remembering Is All I've Got

I want to remember because it's all I've got -- but remembering makes me cry. I hate the conundrum and I hate feeling alone in the world.

Last Night I Realized I Hadn't Seen "Revenge of the Sith"

That was a movie we'd been waiting to see when it came out on video. It's kind of sad to be watching it without Gene. He was the real kind of fan that stood in line for hours to see the original Star Wars movies. Just think, he didn't see the whole series in his lifetime. I'm sure he thought he would. Missed it by "that" much. Felt funny to read the opening prologue. He always read aloud anything at the beginning of any movie we watched.

Movies I've rented since "The Event":
Traveling Pants -- Cute
Wedding Date -- cute with a little "c"
Earthsea -- I'd forgotten I'd seen it before. I still enjoyed it. It's one of those epic quests with wizards in a land long ago.

"It's Just So Wierd"

I'll be moving through my day, driving down the road for instance, and something Gene-related will pop into my mind. Then "he was here, now he's gone -- he lived, now he doesn't -- he existed, now he's dust" follows. It's just so wierd!

I Voted Alone

This is the first time I've gone to vote by myself in more than a decade. Gene and I had a standing date. When I got home from work, we'd grab our voter cards from the refrigerator door where they lived under a decorative magnet, jump in the car and head to the Volunteer Fire Department down the road to enjoy the privilege of voting. We would thoughtfully cast our ballots and then go out to eat dinner. For us, it was as important dinner date as our wedding anniversary.

I went and voted before work this time. Changed it up. Surprisingly the day wasn't as hard as I'd expected. I had a pre-emptory "sad" the day before. Guess that was sufficient. Of course, I'm getting better at "not thinking about it" whenever something tear-worthy pops in my mind. So, I'm coping.

Saturday night, I dreamed about work. I am starting to retain trivia. Someone said something on TV that reminded me of a song -- I started singing it. Haven't done that since The Event, as I often refer to it. Of course, I couldn't remember the words right -- never have -- Gene would always join in with the correct words. He had an incredible memory for most everything. Well, I just kept on singing loudly to the cat making up words that seemed to fit -- and it was fine enough for me and Eienstein.

Looking Up Old Friends -- Highly Recommended

It's All Good

If there’s someone in your past, like an old roommate for instance, and you always enjoyed each other but over the years you talked less and less until it has been more than a decade since you talked – make the effort! Get in touch. I did and was richly rewarded.


Ronnie's New Door! Her new door arrived while I was there.

It's been thirteen years since we talked. The last time was at our wedding. Talk about coming full circle!

I traveled south and stayed a few days with Ronnie and Steve. The evening I arrived, we sat down in the den and did one of those, "Well, the last time we talked was at your wedding ... so ..."

That was a lot of catching up. My married years were full but ended. Their small children that they brought to the wedding were gone from home, only one remaining in college. The other two graduated -- one in Scotland and the other a promising engineer hidden out in a north East Texas town.

Ronnie is still a great cook just like she was in our college days. I could always count on a sandwich and a bowl of soup when I was over at their place. She was always feeding me as I hate to cook for myself. And who knew that thirty years later she would once again be feeding me, but this time she would also be providing nourshiment for the soul. I must tell you that I came away from that visit with a full heart.

My sincere hope is to not have that much time pass before seeing these two friends again. They only got better with the passage of time. Thanks for your hospitality and caring when I showed up on your doorstep having one of those bad days that widows sometimes have. You put me back together and sent me back out with a much more peaceful heart.