But I Digress

Today it just seemed to make sense to write out my entry on paper and then type it in. Normally I type and go back and change and edit and fiddle getting it just right. The laptop gets hot, makes noise, disconnects.

So as I was writing I got off on some tangent and wrote "But I digress." I scratched that out because what is a blog about, but digression? I can digress anytime and about anything I want to. It's my blog. If you enjoy a wordy rambling about nothing, you are in for a treat today.

This is that first day. That cool-reminder of the crisp ones to come. Turned off the air conditioner and fan and opened the door. As soon as the refrigerator cycled off, it was completely quiet for a minute or two. No distant traffic, no dogs barking, no birds chirping.

Gradually, distant traffic picked up and other country neighbor sounds emerged. A few birds decided they had something to say. But for a couple minutes there, it was so quiet it almost hurt my ears.

Have you ever been in the desert during the hot part of the day when every little skittering thing hides in the shade of the nearest pebble? You've never heard nothing sound so loud. That kind of quiet is painful. Old Westerns portrayed the grizzled prospector mumbling and yammering to themselves as they wandered around. I'd always thought it spoke to their loneliness, but now I think it has just as much to do with giving your ears something to hear.

So it's a nice quiet weekend morning here in the country. That was one of the points I kept coming back to during the big "moving-to-town-after-Gene-died" debate. It's been thirty-seven years since I've lived in a regular city neighborhood. I just don't think I'm ready to do that until I have to. Having a couple of neighbors within sight if I took a notion that I wanted to catch a glimpse of their house through the trees is fine with me. Close enough but not too close. I'm much less alarmed by critters than crazy people wandering around during the night anyway.

Things are more lively and noisier now. Birds are chirping and a neighbor is hammering on something. Since cooler weather brings hunting season, won't be long until I'll hear some occassional gunshots "over there" as guns are sighted and cans are obliterated in practice and general excitement builds. Would that bother you? Seems like it comes with the territory when you grew up in a hunter-gatherer clan.

Me hunt and fish? Nope. I can fish but when showed how to clean them, I pulled the Daddy's-little-princess card and never actually had to do it. Would if I had to, but have been fortunate to not ever be that hungry.

I helped Gene skin a deer once. Hmmmm. Not my favorite thing to do but was nice to have meat during a money-crunch time. Even though I don't participate, I have family that hunts and fishes. My favorite cut of deer meat is the kind that is all nicely packaged and goes from their freezer, to a cooler, then to my freezer.

Forget what I said about a quiet morning. The people on the place east of me are running a mower or tiller or something and yelling over it.

I don't like having machine sounds going all the time. Drives me crazy. Gene always had stuff running. Like an incessant aquarium pump (I was thrilled when he quit his fish hobby). Or a bank of computer hard drives whirring. When our old refrigerator would cycle off, I'd relax not even realizing I'd been gritting my teeth.

So now that my "no-motor" reverie has been broken by the neighbor's weekend project, seems like a great time to listen to my birthday gift from KimG.

I was so excited to find it in my mailbox last night. Have been thinking lately how much I've missed getting her mixes since she moved away and had even thought about asking for one. She read my mind! And I'm doubly impressed she got in in the mail during ACL! Claimed this birthday gift was belated because her step-sister moved back from China. Perfectly understandable.

The other day I was looking back at the beginning of my blog - Ms. Judy's House of Fun. It really wasn't much fun but for about ten months. Now it's been almost two additional years since Gene died. My blog was more fun than my life but reflected life to some degree anyway.

There is a two year deadline on taking care of some of the legal stuff and I've pushed that to the limit. Just seems so final. Only a couple more official things to take care of - on one hand I want to get it over with so it won't be hanging over my head and on the other I don't want to complete the tasks and totally be done with it forever and ever. Regardless, they'll be done by the two year mark - a mere ten days from now.

But in the immortal words of Gene Standley when we once discussed losing the other, "Yeah, I'd grieve for you, but then I'd get on with my life."